Down in the dungeons of the Texas State Capitol building is a basement. This windowless room is not the place I expected to hear a story that added a significant layer of perspective to my life. I think this newfound advice deserves to exist out of the depths of the Texas Capitol building and dance in the light of day.
“If the only thing you pursue in your life is success, you will fail,” a man said on stage with a thick Texan accent, capturing the attention of the room.
“Because success is external. Instead, I’d encourage you to pursue significance.”
The man ignored the podium someone had placed for him, and paced around the stage with energy and control in his voice. The kind of person who knows his story and knows to tell it well.
The Race
I don’t remember his name or his position. I just know he was a higher-up in the City of Austin’s EMT (emergency medical technician) department who just so happened to be retiring that day. He was the opening speaker for the EMT Academy graduation ceremony. I was only there by chance having been invited by a friend who was graduating from the program.
The man went on to share a story about his daughter who as a kid developed extreme scoliosis and doctors said she would never be able to run again.
Years of physical therapy and determination later, she defied the odds and joined a cross-country team. She was good at it and always came in 10th or 11th (but never in the top three even though she could hit great speeds at practice).
One day he went full-dad mode and brought long-range binoculars to a cross-country race, determined to zoom in and help identify areas of improvement for his daughter.
The start gun went off and his eyes were glued to his scope which was glued to his kid. The first minutes were solid and she seemed strong among the leads. Halfway through, he couldn’t believe his eyes. She had slowed and started chitchatting with another runner.
They appeared to be smiling and having a conversation. Soon the girl sped off, and his daughter started talking to another girl, then another, and another. By the end, they had passed her and she came in 11th place.
“What on God’s green earth is she doing!? She needs to—”
His wife cut him off and said, “—you will NOT tell her anything. Let her celebrate her race.”
At the finish line, their daughter was in high spirits. But her dad couldn’t let it go. “You ran amazing and I am so proud, but I can’t help but ask why you were talking so much with those girls and what were you talking about?”
She looked him in the eye and said, “They needed encouragement.”
Pow!
The Difference Between Success and Significance
That’s the difference between success and significance. She chose to give encouragement to the other runners and help them through the tough parts of the race.
Even though she didn’t win, there are seven or eight girls who will forever remember the girl who encouraged them.
It’s about significance. The significance we choose to give ourselves and give to others.
“Success is what you earn out there,” he said after he shared his daughter’s story. “Significance is about what you give.”
It’s important to cross the finish line, but it’s more important to make sure everyone crosses with you.
We all get to make that choice every day. To speak into other’s lives and encourage them. Sometimes doing so requires sacrifice, but that’s okay because people will remember us for the significance we contributed to their lives.
As my friend Trent once said, “There is nothing that brings more joy than being a small part in someone else’s life.”
Threads of Significance
In the previous post, I shared about a challenge called “Celebrate Your Efforts” and a few people who read it messaged asking if we could revive that challenge because they wanted to try it too.
So, three days ago a group of 7 of us started the challenge again. Those in the group live all over the world and have never met in person. Most of them were complete strangers until they were added to the WhatsApp group. The common denominator is we all met through Yes Fam and we all seek growth.
Everyone submits a daily video to the group chat sharing efforts from our day and the challenges we faced. Yesterday I got teary-eyed from watching everyone’s videos and words of encouragement. I’m not a fan of the word “vulnerability” much because in the dictionary it means exposing a weakness. I think, in fact, we were all exposing our courage to be ourselves and share parts of ourselves that often live in the shadows.
This group is already successful in my mind because it is overflowing with significance. Each person is open to both sharing their struggles and sharing the gift of encouraging words to others.
Significance is like a thread that wraps around the world in a giant hug. All of us uplifting one another and holding a piece of the thread. It weaves our lives together in the running race that is life. Except we are all encouraging each other and taking steps alongside one another toward the finish line.
The thread of our “celebrate your efforts 2.0” group has ties in a small village in India, weaves through the Netherlands and France, through beaches in Portugal, across winter in Canada, snow in Tennessee, and to my house in Texas.
While we live in different places, I noticed within our spirits are the roots of where we came from. We are Polish, British, Ukrainian, Afghan-Indian, Thai-Canadian, Dutch, and Colombian. Our roots make our lives significant. Our unique gifts make us significant, and it's our duty to share and receive the gifts of significance from others.
We hope to keep expanding the thread of significance and pass it on to other hands until it becomes a web across the world of people encouraging one another. This is significance.