#1 The stranger and the granola bars
This is Splash. I was riding my bike on the trail (and my bike has a reflective pizza dangling from the saddle) when I heard someone bike up behind me out of breath say, “I saw a pizza and started pedaling faster to reach it!!” We were headed in the same direction so we got into a conversation about pizza, cooking, and bikes. He said my reflective pizza should be a taco. I agree. @SafetyPizza please make Safety Tacos!
At first, I was a bit hesitant to talk with him. A stranger on a bike trying to talk to me in the middle of downtown. A bunch of assumptions crossed my brain. But… turns out Splash works for Austin B-Cycle, the city’s E-bike company and his job is biking around town to check on the e-bikes. He loves biking so much that he bikes the 20 miles from his home to the downtown library just to return a movie, instead of going to the library next to his house. He then said he was just at Wheatsville and granola bars were on sale so he bought a bunch and offered me some. I politely declined but then we kept biking and he shared with me bits of his life story. His Mexican-American grandparents immigrated and passed on a love for cooking. Now he loves making food for others and loves biking around the city.
I realized this was not a stranger-danger scenario but rather a friendly human who just likes connecting with others. After riding a few miles together, we reached our point of separation and he asked if I was sure I didn’t want any granolas. I accepted, and he was so happy he had someone to share them with (he gave me so many, all the ones in the photo!) He was so grateful for me taking the time to converse with him in a world where we hardly even make eye contact with others, much less strike up a conversation. Our interaction certainly made my day and reminded me of our humanity.
#2 The stranger who ran up the hill
I have a go-to run loop that I do around my neighborhood and to get back home I usually avoid a particular street because the first time I ran on it I was shouted at, whistled at and cat-called. But this time I was running with a friend so I figured it’d be fine to go past there anyway. This time, there was no catcalling. People were out having a BBQ and as we ran past them, they smiled and waved at us, cheering us on. Then one of them jogged toward us and joined us on our run, accompanying us up the hill.
“I’m 42 years old and have grandkids,” he told us as he jogged alongside us. “They keep me active. This energy y’all got, you gotta use it or you’re gonna lose it. Keep running.”
Preach it. Serendipitous moments like these with strangers put a smile on my face. It reminds me that we have more in common than we think. Me and my avoidance of that particular street is an assumption that each time I go by it I’d have a negative experience, never curious if I’d have a good experience. But today changed that. The stranger gave my friend and I an energy boost to run up that hill. Plus it seemed the stranger had a great time going up the hill with us! He had no other reason to other than to join other humans in a little run challenge and form a connection.
He reminded us that our life is at it’s essence, energy! Movement brings us to life, it gives us life! Use it or you’re gonna lose it.
#3 The stranger who fixed Luisa’s bike
It was a beautiful fall day cruising around on bikes with my sister Luisa when we were reminded of the kindness of strangers when a stranger riding a bike helped get my sister’s bike chain unstuck.
We had been riding around when her chain got stuck in the derailleur somehow and wouldn’t budge. We were about to give up and walk to a bike shop two miles away, when a guy with a long beard riding a bike hauling many bags, stopped next to us and offered to help.
Initially, our instinct was to say, no thank you. Tell a white lie and say that we got this… then turn around and walk two miles to the bike shop anyway. We’ve all been there. Whether it’s because of safety (we totally get this one), or pride or ego, or just to avoid socializing with a stranger. I don’t know what it was, but our gut said to accept his help, so we did.
He got out tools and got to work. In about 5 minutes the chain was unstuck and the bike was working again. He got a rag out of his bag and cleaned his hands which were now full of chain grease. “Always carry a rag, they come in handy,” he said.
His name is Ezra and he said he has been riding bikes for 40 years. He said 30 minutes ago he had helped another person fix their bike and get back on the road. And that about 10 minutes before he had helped get a toad off the road and back safely into the creek. “At least you’re prettier than a toad!” He said.
When Luisa and I were back on the bikes, we unpacked the whole episode. We both agreed that right off the bat when Ezra first approached us, our subconscious bias raised it’s ugly head and told us to put our guard up because here’s a guy with a bunch of bags strapped onto his bike and he might look like he’s unhoused. As he started fiddling with the derailleur and chain we wondered if he knew what he was doing or if he might make the problem worse.
“Might”. Assumptions. Bias and stereotypes are fueled by assumptions. I guess there are plenty of reasons why our brains were flagged with this stranger danger because we do have to be conscious of our safety. But, why did our brains immediately jump into assumptions and conclusions about him as a person?
For our safety, we were in the middle downtown with plenty of people around so we shouldn’t have had to worry about that. But instead, our bias went to stereotypes and bias about wondering if we should accept his help.
As he finished fixing the bike, for a tiny second my brain even started thinking that I didn’t have any cash on me to give him as a thank you. Why brain! Why did I assume he was only helping us for money? Because of the way he looked? Did I just assume he was unhoused because he was carrying lots of bags?
I caught myself thinking this, and stopped immediately. But I did want to offer him something in appreciation. I asked him if he’d like a cup of coffee, but he said no thank you. I wish he would have said yes because Luisa and I would have liked to hear his story over a cup of coffee. Who knows what this guy’s life has been like. How did he know so much about bikes? Maybe one day we’ll run into him again.
I’m so happy we did accept Ezra’s help because we made a new friend in the process. Regardless if he was unhoused or not, he is still a person who went out of his way to help us. Out of pure kindness, wanting nothing in return. And he was knowledgeable about bikes. He knew what to do right away.
On the bike ride home, Luisa said, “Think about all the good things that can happen instead of what bad things can happen!”
Kindness is everywhere, no matter what it’s dressed as or what it looks like. It exists. On the streets of downtown, it exists. On the corners of big cities, it exists. In our own neighborhood streets, it exists. As a mentor says, “It’s free to be kind.”
Kindness is a two-way street. It’s pretty magical what happens when we set our pride and ego aside and allow someone to help us. It makes them feel good, and you feel good too. Kindness is a feeling. It has no price.
“Bye Ezra, thank you!” We shouted after him as we parted ways. “Bye girls!” he said back to us.
PS: the next day Luisa and I went to the library. Guess who’s bike was there when we parked our bikes? Ezra’s!
Writing this got me thinking that all these great interactions with people happened while biking or running! Two great ways of getting out in the world and immersing yourself in it. A busted chain led to a friendly interaction with a stranger. A hilly run became more fun with a stranger. A lonely ride became a fun one with some treats to eat.
Read about the time a stranger gifted me a book.
PS: This next month is expected to be filled with travel and adventure, so while I may not get to write weekly, I may try sending some Voice Notes. Exciting stories ahead you can expect: running the New York City marathon, going to November Project Summit, and going to a foreign country with a friend I met online and have never met in person…Sooo make sure you subscribe to stay updated! :)