(PS: read till the end for some questions for you readers!)
Over the past three weeks, I have finally started to feel like myself again for the first time in five months. When I returned from crazy summer travels, I found it difficult to go from a whirl-wind adrenaline-filled life straight to the stillness of home. It’s as if you spend time in a snow globe that’s being shaken madly, then coming to an abrupt stop.
When we experience life-changing events followed by a stop, everything feels confusing. It feels like we don’t recognize ourselves. Not sure if you’ve experienced this too. How sometimes it’s a struggle to return to the same old routines, pretending life is the same as before. But the new you can’t quite settle. The new you finds it difficult to go back to the same old. Growth pains, I guess.
I’ve come to realize there’s always going to be an uncomfortable period after spending so much time in a snow globe. A snow globe can be something that shakes up your life— like traveling, losing a job, a career change, or moving to a new city. But the reason it’s sometimes painful is because it takes time to let the dust settle and see how it has changed us.
If this story is about boxing, what does it have to do with snow globes?
The snow globe analogy came to me after months of feeling stuck. I’m not fully out of the funk, but I want to share the story of how boxing was the thing that got me into the snow globe and it is also the thing that’s helping me come to terms with who I am after experiencing life inside a wild snow globe.
Stepping Off the Plane Straight to the Boxing Ring
Maria of February 2023 would have never thought that Maria of 2024 would be going to Muay Thai and boxing classes multiple times a week. No way.
In March 2023, I got pushed to the deep end of going to my first boxing class. In a story I previously wrote about here, I was spontaneously flown to Florida and driven straight from the airport to my first unexpected boxing class (Shoutout to Dez).
We were late to class, it wasn’t a beginner’s boxing class, we didn’t have the proper gear, and we didn’t know anything about boxing. But you know what? It all worked out! Coach B was patient and taught us the basics, the others in the class were fine with letting two newbies join them, and they lent us gear. It didn’t matter if we loved or hated it. What mattered was that we tried. A little seed of curiosity was planted.
Whether by coincidence or the magic of life, two months later I found myself launched in the arena again, this time with Muay Thai and Kung Fu at a Shaolin temple in Germany. Then a month later I found myself in Hong Kong, the birthplace of Bruce Lee and a place where martial arts are engrained in the culture. Soon after that, I went to Japan where I experienced more of the philosophical side behind martial arts and Buddhism.
This all ties back to the snow globe story because after having gone through these experiences, I came back home and felt a little lost. Part of me wanted to return to my old habits of running, training for another 50K or another half Ironman. I felt that by going back to those things that were already familiar, I’d feel better about being home. But I couldn’t get myself to run even a mile.
As my world settled around me, I realized my frustration was because I wasn’t the same person anymore. When we go through periods of transformational change, it takes time to discover the new layers of growth and how they have changed us.
Boxing became a way for me to take something I experienced throughout my travels, and weave it into everyday life.
These are 6 things I’ve learned from learning kickboxing:
Most of our reluctance to try new things is mental. We say we don’t have time. We think we need the best gear to try. We don’t want to feel like a beginner. We fear embarrassment. We fear going by ourselves. We are afraid we will love it and afraid we will hate it. We think trying means committing to it forever. It’s often these things that keep us from trying new things. We have to get out of our way.
You can do hard things. Last week I was the only woman in a Muay Thai class out of 8 guys. Usually, there are a lot more women, but on that evening it was just me. For a second I felt empowered, “Oh yeah I’m the only woman, go me.” But the next second my stomach sank. “Oh, crap. Thoughts started racing. “These guys all seem more experienced than me.” Then I remembered the Shaolin temple where out of the four guys and myself I was the only one to complete the entire workout. If I could survive the Shaolin conditioning and the “hardening” training, then I would be more than fine during this class. I’ve done hard things before and am capable. So what if I’m a beginner? Everyone has been a beginner at some point. As adults, we just get embarrassed by that for some reason.
During my first kickboxing class I prayed I wouldn’t get paired with the very pro-looking people. The people with looks of seasoned kickboxers. Well turns out I quickly learned that I DO want to get paired with those people because they are the ones I can learn the most from. They are the ones who have the patience to teach you the moves and how to do them correctly. On the other hand, the other beginners are just as lost as me.
Celebrate progress. The other day I realized I am not the only beginner and am not the newest beginner in my gym. As more advanced fighters have given me patience and taught me when we get paired together, I realized that it might be my turn to share some of that guidance with newer beginners. As I got paired with someone who was very new, I was able to show guidance as others had once shown me. What I love about this sport is you are always learning.
Be present. While kickboxing, the mind goes blank except for the present moment. The most important thing is awareness of your body and breath. Feeling more present in my body has helped me realize that in martial arts, strength and grace are both needed and equal. It’s not about hitting the hardest or being violent (which are common stereotypes). I find quite the opposite to be true.
Not only is it an incredible way to build strength, but it’s outrageously fun. I’ve never moved my body in such ways and the only way I can describe it is that it’s fun to surprise yourself with what you are capable of. (And a great way to learn self-defense, I might add).
Snowball Effect
The curiosity toward something is the first step. After that comes the willingness to try new things. Martial arts for me are a reminder that we don’t have to travel to an exotic destination to explore more within ourselves. It can be as simple as going to a boxing class or painting class and trying something new within our own city. The combination of physical movement and mental philosophy helps us find more peace within our flurry-filled snow globes.
Question for the audience!
Question for you, yes YOU— two questions. If you had the time to read this blog, you have time to think about these two things and comment your responses below!
What’s one new thing you have tried recently? Did you enjoy it or not?
What’s one new thing you want to try? (hint: maybe it’s something random you’ve never thought of trying before!)
One new thing I tried recently was embarking on a journey of continuous travel, spending three days exploring four cities without lingering anywhere for more than 24 hours. While the experience was amazing, I found it less enjoyable than expected. In retrospect, I wish I could have dedicated more time to each city.
One new thing I want to try—working in the book industry.
New thing I tried was to use more humor in my communications.
New thing I would like to try is to create fun artwork